


Family Life

by MusicalFangirl00193



Series: Trolls, Faires, and Centuars [3]
Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5395607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalFangirl00193/pseuds/MusicalFangirl00193
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fowl's family life is a bit different than everyone else's, with fairies and centuars and dwarves as members as well as humans. Their life is different, but good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Mulch, it's not that we don't enjoy your visits, but could you not just come in a shuttle like Holly, or at least call ahead so we would all be awake?" Artemis yawned.

"But there's no fun in that Arty. Where's your sense of adventure?" Mulch complained.

"I think that left around the time I got pregnant with Ava and Zach," Artemis said, starting the coffee.

"Speaking of which, where are the little ankle-biters?" Mulch asked.

"Domovoi's getting Vanna and John up, I think Zach has some project he's working on, and Ava spent the night at a friend's house," Artemis said, starting breakfast. "To what do we owe the pleasure of today’s visit?"

"I had a question for your husband actually," Mulch said, fidgeting with a napkin.

"Trouble with Holly again?" Artemis asked.

"No, no, quite to opposite actually. I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Artemis was glad the coffee was not done yet, because if it had, he would have done a spit-take. He had known Mulch and Holly had been dating for a while, Holly had called him several times fuming or sobbing or gushing that Mulch had done this, or Mulch had done that or Mulch had forgotten her birthday or their anniversary.

"I didn't know you guys were that serious."

"We've been dating since Zach and Ava were born. Holly pretty much lives at my apartment and I'm crazy about her," Mulch said quietly.

"Diggums, good to see you again! I hope you didn't bring anymore of that rock polish with you. You have no idea how much trouble these little buggers can cause with one of those things," Domovoi said, coming into the room, Savanna Isabelle in his arms, John William following him on unsteady legs.

"No, all three of you yelled at me for that one," Mulch muttered. Then his face lit up, "Hey Johnny boy, you got so big while I was gone!" Mulch exclaimed, standing in front of the toddler.

"Much!" the toddler exclaimed, grabbing onto the dwarf. 

Savanna began to fuss, not getting any attention from her uncle.

"Vanna, are you being a good girl for your mommy and daddy?" Mulch asked once Domovoi set her down.

"Jes!" Vanna said, giggling and nodding her head eagerly.

"I don't know why everyone decided I was 'Mommy' I hate it," Artemis muttered lowly.

Domovoi wrapped his arms around Artemis' waist. "Because you made such a beautiful picture when you were holding Zach for the first time, I couldn't imagine you being anything but 'Mommy', and you absolutely glowed when you were pregnant," Domovoi said, trailing kisses down Artemis' jaw.

Artemis thought about that for a moment. "Alright," Artemis said with a nod. "Is Juliet coming over later?"

"I think so, Eduardo just got back from his last tour with the wrestling troupe."

"Good and when is Ava coming home?"

"Noon, Janice said she would bring her home." 

Artemis nodded and pushed a button next to the light switch. "Zach, time for breakfast. Mulch is here," he said.

A minute later the voice of a young boy came back through the speaker. "Okay Mom, I'll be down in a minute."

"Well hurry up Zach. Juliet and Eduardo are coming over later."

Five minutes later a boy of about seven came running into the room. "Hey Mom, hey Dad," he said, climbing into his chair. "Oh Mulch, just the fairy I wanted to see. I have a prototype of these new night-vision goggles that I need to test out."

"Zachary what did we tell you about conducting business at the table?" Domovoi said sternly.

"Sorry Dad, I was just on a conference call with Victoria about this new wing design that will put Foaly to shame," the boy grinned up at his father.

"You are too much like your mother," he grunted, ruffling his son's hair.

Zach just grinned, then something occurred to him, "Hey Mulch, where's Holly? You never come without her."

"Yeah, where is the little lady?" Domovoi asked, placing the younger twins in their high chairs.

"She stayed out late with No1 and Cabaline last night so she had to pull a double shift at Section 8. She was dead on her feet when I left. She said she was going to take a warm bath and go to bed. And I need to talk to you after breakfast Domovoi. I have a few questions," Mulch said.

Domovoi's interest was peaked. He looked at Artemis, wondering if the younger man knew what the dwarf was going to ask. A puzzled look made its way to the younger man's face as he nodded to his husband.

"Mulch, why didn't you just ask Foaly? He's easier to reach and he's known her longer than we have," Artemis said.

Mulch's face grew red. "He would have told her the minute I asked. And I do want her to be surprised."

Domovoi put two and two together and got four. "You're going to propose to Holly?" he asked.

Mulch grew even redder as he nodded.

Domovoi let out a loud laugh. "Finally, what's it been? Eight years?"

"Oi, it's only been seven," Mulch protested.

"Still, it's been long enough."

"And what was it for you two? 18 years?"

"I want to point out that the first 14 or so years didn't count as Domovoi was still Butler in my head, and things were difficult the next few. So that makes only four," Artemis said, passing out plates. 

"Hey Mulch, can I be your best man?" Zach asked around a mouthful of cereal.

"Zachary," Artemis said warningly.

Zach swallowed his food, "Sorry Mom. Can I Mulch?"

"Sure bud. I still have to ask her though," Mulch said, laughing.

"She's going to say yes. She's been waiting for you to ask for about five years. She loves you," Artemis said, sitting down to eat his own breakfast.

"How do you know that?"

"Because she calls me just about every day," Artemis snorted. "Sometimes it drives me crazy how often she calls me. Do you have a ring?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah, I mined the stones myself," Mulch said, pulling out a small black box.

Artemis took the box and opened it. The ring had a thin gold band and the stone was an emerald with a circle of smaller diamonds surrounding it.

"It's beautiful, Holly will love it," Artemis said, handing the ring back to Mulch.

"I hope so. I did everything but make it myself," Mulch said, putting the box back in his pocket.

"So you love her, she loves you, you have the ring. What's holding you back?"

"I'm nervous. What if she says no?"

"She won't say no, Mulch. She loves you," Artemis said patting Mulch on the back.

"You want my advice?" Domovoi asked.

"Sure," Mulch nodded.

"Do the cheesiest thing you can think of. Go to Tara at the full moon. It's what I did with Artemis," Domovoi said.

"A moon-light stroll in Paris and a proposal at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Probably the cheesiest way, but it worked. And the view was fantastic," Artemis said, kissing his husband on the cheek. "He was so nervous he was shaking. I don't think I had ever seen him that nervous."

"I was proposing to you, the most wonderful man in the world, the only person who could ever really hurt me," Domovoi said, wrapping one arm around Artemis' waist, "Including trolls."

"I'm done, can I be excused?!" Zach asked loudly, before his parents could start kissing.

"Sure, just put your dishes in the sink," Artemis said

"Hey Mulch, are you coming to test the goggles?" 

"Do I get to tunnel?"

"Duh, they're night-vision goggles they won't be any use up here for another 12 hours, at least."

"I'm in. Anything to get away before they start kissing," Mulch said, hopping down and following Zach out of the room.

"Mulch, please do return our son in one piece," Domovoi said, cleaning up John. "His sister would be rather upset if you injured her twin."

"I still don't know why you taught that girl to fight. Isn't ballet more her age group?"

"Don't let Ava hear you say that!" Zach laughed. "Come on!"

…

"Wasn't this Holly's cell when your mother captured her?" Mulch asked, looking around.

"Yeah, it was the only part of the original house that fit what I needed and I had to have it remodeled a bit even after that, so now it's my lab," Zach said, adjusting some knobs on what looked like a pair of swim goggles. "Here, put these on and get going."

Mulch put on the goggles and unhinged his jaw, quickly diving into the vein of soil directly under the room.

Mulch instantly felt at home. This was his element.

"Mulch, can you hear me?" came Zach's voice through the earpiece in his ear. Mulch blinked twice, a signal Zach could pick up from the iris-cam in Mulch's left eye. "Good, are the goggles working correctly?" Two more blinks. "Good, I set up an obstacle course about ten feet ahead of you. I'll tell you what to do when you get there." 

Mulch grinned; he knew he made a good choice visiting the Mud Men today.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I help you?" the tall brunette Mud Woman asked.

"Yes, Domovoi and Artemis sent me to pick up Ava," Holly said, trying not to grit her teeth.

"And who are you?" she asked, wary of this short auburn haired woman.

"I'm Holly Short, family friend, I've known Artemis since he was 12," Holly said.

"Mrs. Panther who's at the door?" a raven haired girl asked, coming up behind the woman. "Oh hey Aunt Holly. I gotta go grab my bag."

"Okay Ava, but hurry, your parents want you home by noon and we have things to do," Holly said.

"Ready," Ava said, reappearing at the door.

"Great, good-bye Mrs. Panther," Holly said turning away from the woman. "Please tell me her daughter is nothing like her," Holly muttered to Ava.

"Oh yeah, why do you think most of our sleepovers are at Fowl Manor? Her mom used to be awesome. But after the accident she just...changed," Ava said quietly. 

"Hey, no pouting. We're going to Haven to celebrate. I'm getting married," Holly exclaimed.

"Mulch finally proposed?" Ava asked wide eyed.

"Not yet, but he needs to remember Foaly still has your house bugged," Holly snickered.

"Awesome, can I be your maid-of-honor?" Ava asked.

"But of course," Holly said, "That's why I broke you out of that place; we're going to have a girl's day."

"What were you thinking for the date?" Ava asked.

"June 21st. It's our anniversary," Holly said, "Do you think Vanna and John would like to be the flower girl and ring bearer?"

"I think they would love it. Are we going to see Foaly?"

"Yeah, last time I brought you down without telling him he threatened to show Mulch all my baby pictures if I did it again."

"So Section 8?" Ava asked hopefully.

"You wish. We're going to his house. Have you met his kids?"

"Emily, but I haven't met Alexia or Zane."

Holly smiled, with a glint of evil in her eye. "I think this will be fun." 

…

"Ava Grace, I haven't seen you in forever!" Cabaline said, wrapping her arms around the seven year old.

"It's good to see you too Cabaline," Ava said, hugging the centaur back.

"Ava! You’re back! I need your help in my room!" Emily said, galloping up and grabbing Ava's hand and leading her through the house.

"Em, slow down! I'm not half-horse like you are!" Ava said, laughing as she ran to keep up with the centaur.

"What do you think?" Emily asked, falling onto her bed.

"Nice," Ava said, falling next to her friend. Then she noticed a picture on Emily's nightstand. "Who's that?" she asked, picking up the frame. It showed Foaly, Cabaline, Emily, another centaur Ava assumed was Emily's twin Alexia, and a human boy who looked about her age.

"That's me, Mom, Dad, Alexia, and Zane," Emily said, glancing at the picture.

"Where's Zane? All I see is a human boy," Ava said, turning the picture toward Emily.

"That is Zane," Emily said.

"What? He looks human."

"He is human. It's a rare genetic condition that makes him look completely human," Emily said, "I researched. It's cool."

Ava barely heard her talking. "I've seen him before," Ava muttered.

"Oh yeah, he goes to this school on the surface, it's a half boarding half day school. Dublin Prep, I think. He comes home on the weekends. He got back last night."

There was a knock on the door. "Hey Em, can you help me with my homework?" a boy asked.

Ava held her finger to her mouth and nodded.

"Sure dweeb, come on in," Emily said, grabbing her V-goggles and bringing up a file labeled 'Dweeb Help'.

"Hey Z, why didn't you tell me you were from Haven?" Ava drawled out, laying upside-down over the edge of Emily's bed.

"Ava? What are you doing here?" Zane asked, seeing his best friend lying on his sister's bed.

"Oh yeah, you don't know who my mom is. I don't know why he took Dad's name instead of Dad taking his." 

"My dad said it was because your mom's family had a lot of enemies," Emily volunteered.

"Maybe," Ava nodded, "Anyway, my mom is Artemis Fowl."

Zane stood slack jawed for a minute. "The Artemis Fowl?"

"Yep, but he goes by Artemis Butler these days. And I'm in Haven because Mulch is gonna propose to Aunt Holly and we're celebrating. I'm at your house because your dad threatened Holly with baby pictures if she didn't. I guess this explains all your cool gadgets," Ava said, pointing at the boy. "Not cool man, I told you everything."

Zane looked sheepish. "Sorry A, I guess I just thought you would look down on me if I told you."

"Dude, I have two dads. My mom can only see because of fairy tech, and I wouldn't exist if it weren't for fairies and magic," Ava said.

"I didn't know that," Zane protested.

"You don't have to live at that school anymore, I know that place sucks. You can live with us and we can both come to Haven on the weekends," Ava said, as if it had already happened.

Zane smiled, "That sounds awesome A."

"Good, cause it's happening Z. No more sucky school food for you. Dad's an awesome cook and you'll love the twins. Now what did you say about homework?"

"Eh, that was just to bug Em. Come on, I wanna show you something," Zane said, grabbing Ava's hand.

As they left the room, Emily called after them, "Hey dweeb! Why did you steal my friend?" 

"She was my friend first!" Zane yelled back, running backwards for a minute.

Ava laughed and followed Zane to his room.

"How long have you been coming to Haven?" Zane asked, falling onto his bed.

"Honestly I've been coming here since I was born. I seriously think it was the second place I went after I was born." 

"Dang, I don't think I got to the surface till I was five."

"I don't think I could go that long without fresh air," Ava said looking at the ceiling. "Will you tell me why you really didn't tell me now?"

"I was going to tell you on your birthday. But then..." Zane trailed off, "I didn't want to overload you with all of that."

"Zane, I couldn't talk to Holly or Mulch for about a month after that, I would have loved to know you lived down here and could keep me updated on Haven, that would have been awesome," Ava said quietly.

"I'm sorry A, it was just...you getting hurt, Adam and his dad...dying because of that troll. I just wanted to be a normal human for once," Zane said softly.

"Z how many times so I have to tell you? Normal is boring, adventure makes life exciting," Ava said, exasperated.

Zane smiled, "Yeah, but so do a lot of other things that AREN'T dangerous!"

"True," Ava said laughing, "Hey, where's your dad?"

"I don't know, let's go find him," Zane said, jumping off the bed.

Ava laughed and ran after her friend.


End file.
